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September 5, 2005 in Just the tale

And so another day has passed…woke up this morning feeling really depressed. I mean REALLY depressed. So depressed that i skipped a tutorial class, which for the record wasn’t my original class but a friend wanted me to go with him so i just smsed him and told him i was too tired, which was the truth – i went straight back to bed for another good hour of sleep.

It was one of those days that just DRAGGED on…two 2 hour lectures in which the lecturers first of all were perfectly intelligble, secondly didn’t give us any break inbetween each hour so they went on for 2 HOURS STRAIGHT, thirdly they didn’t even end on time so each lessons stretched for over 2 hours in fact and lastly, nobody understood what they were trying to teach.

It’s been on my mind again. I don’t know if this is healthy, but i seem to be fluctuating between being happy and being upset/obsessed/depressed/confused. When i’m happy it’s just plain acceptance and i seem to be able let God take control of things. At other times when i’m upset, everything just seems to loom in front of me. (think army of orcs at the gates of Mordor and you realise all you have by your side is a hobbit) I wonder a lot about the outcome, about how things will turn out. I wonder if we can be satisfied by ourselves, content to live without each other. I doubt this is true surrender if it depends on my mood – if so then i have yet to learn how to surrender everything.

I know this blog sounds really melancholy. I guess it’s the way i am – behind the smile and the act, i really do think a lot. I know i think in my sleep too. It gets annoying when actually all you want to do is forget things. I guess some things just aren’t meant to be forgotten.

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September 5, 2005 in Just the tale

Dreams. What do they mean?

For those whom i haven’t told before, or who don’t know….i have dreams that come true. Thankfully i don’t have those kiddy nightmares where i’m falling off a plane or a cliff, and i hope i never will, but i’ve had some pretty freaky dreams.

How do i know they will come true? Well so far they all have, one by one, except for those that happen in quite the far-off future. Initially when it happened in sec sch i dismissed them as deja vu but it occurred too many times that i became convinced (and through seeking counsel as well) that i had this gift. No i can’t tell you what 4D numbers are going to win next, i only see what i see in first person in the dream – i.e. i have to be there, and seeing as i don’t and will probably never buy 4D, i can’t help you. =P

Renee posted something on dreams too…which prompted me to post this. Granted that my dreams aren’t anywhere near the freakyness of hers, but still it’s freaky.

Three dreams in a sleep – consecutively, like a change in scene in a play. First one has come true. Second one i hope it comes true, in a way. Third one (i can’t remember what it was about exactly but i do remember the gist of it) i hope it doesn’t. Obviously i’m not at liberty to say what the dreams are, at least not here.

Someone (i can’t remember who coz i’ve talked to many people regarding this matter before) once told me that dreams are simply that until God chooses to reveal what they mean. In a recent conversation with Bing (and i suppose Joel had some part to play in the background of that conversation as well…at least i hope he did), we kinda sorta agreed that dreams of the nature that i’m facing shouldn’t really be bothered with coz they’re going to happen anyway, but i still can’t help thinking about them. Hoong also reminded me about Matthew 6:25 -34 and that we really shouldn’t be bothering ourselves aobut this kinda unnecessary thing…but something bugs me about it…it’s a gift, and i should be using it…but to what purpose?

I realise that some people don’t really believe that the gifts of prophecy and God speaking to us in dreams/visions still exist in this age. All i have to say about that is that i find no biblical evidence that such things have been abolished, and i feel that we shouldn’t be limiting how God speaks to people – He did speak through a donkey before.

Dreams that come true…Deja vu…but still not quite. Premonitions more like it.

And i still have no idea what it means.