Archive for January, 2006

And four to go.

So i’ve been tagged by bing. Time for me to reply that overdue tag. Also because i’m bored and feeling a bit weary and down so i thought i’d just to this to take my mind off things. Also because bing asked me to update this blog lol. Four jobs i’d had in my life:
1) Slave to the nation
2) Part time teacher
3) Freelance pianist
4) Computer hardware setup person (don’t know what that job really was, but that’s all i did)

Four movies i could watch over and over again:
1) Edward Scissorhands
2) Rainman
3) Forrest Gump
4) The Nightmare Before Christmas

Four TV shows i love(d) to watch:
1) Jake version 1.2
2) Robocop
3) Return of the Condor Heroes
4) The Simpsons (and i can’t believe i actually watched that)

Four places i have lived:
1) 13 Wadsworth Street, Boston, Massachusetts
2) Ghim Moh
3) Jurong West
4) Jurong Extension

Four places i’ve been on vacation for:
1) Gold Coast – i’ll never forget this one.
2) Malaysia
3) New Zealand – land of the hobbits
4) America

Four places i’d rather be:
1) On a clean beach with crystal clear water, watching the sunset, preferably with someone special
2) In America
3) In front of a fireplace situated in the living room of a log cabin while the snow outside is pouring, with a cup of hot chocolate in my hand, and someone to share it with.
4) Heaven.

Four of my favourite foods:
1) Fried Chicken, not necessarily from KFC.
2) Burr-i-tos……*drools*
3) Wonton
4) Sushi

Four websites i visit daily:
Ok for this one i have a long long list coz my daily routine is to check on all my friend’s blogs before i sleep…so i’m going to put that as the first item:
1) Blogs. 😀
2) IVLE/NUSemail…sad but true.
3) Baka-updates
4) Lettsingit.com – ok this one i wouldn’t go there that often if it wasn’t for the fact that i keep hearing songs that i want to find out the proper lyrics to.

Four people i’m going to tag:
Instead of NOT tagging anyone and being accused of making this stop, i’m actually going to tag ppl who actively have blogs
1) Bing
2) Joel
3) MZ
4) Clem

ok i realised that two out of four have already did this, and one more is repeated.  But that’s the whole point 😀

Just recalled this song from the short stint it did in Back to the Future and i was just thinking of how songs just seem to last forever…these kinda songs don’t die. They just don’t. 😀

Earth Angel, Earth Angel
Will you be mine
My darling dear, love you all the time
I’m just a fool
A fool in love with you

Earth Angel, Earth Angel
The one I adore
Love you forever, and ever more
I’m just a fool
A fool in love with you

I fell for you
And I knew
The vision of your lov-lovliness
I hoped and I prayed
That someday
I’d be the vision of your hap-happiness

Oh, Oh, Earth Angel, Earth Angel
Please be mine
My darling dear, love you all the time
I’m just a fool
A fool in love with you

Gosh can you imagine if someone sang this for a wedding or something? 🙂 Yeah i know Valentine’s Day isn’t here yet, and no i don’t have anyone to celebrate it with…but i would like to sing this for that occasion…maybe there’s some opening for a gig or something hee 😀

Met up with JM today and while we were praying i saw this quartet of birds perch on the tiny branches of a tree and peck the fruit off it.  It reminded me again that our Father provides everything we need for us, and we lack nothing that we need to carry out our lives as He wills.  What we need in the future will be given to us when we need.  If God even takes care of the birds and sparrows, what more will He take care of us who are His children? 🙂

Just take a look at the birds of the fields
They have their needs met everyday
They neither reap nor sow but He provides;
Do you think you’re not worth more than they?

I think that’s something i tend to forget rather easily…and i keep on wondering why God holds back so much from me, why can’t i have this or that or something better or something else, not realising that all that i need i already have.

I pray my heart will change, Father.

I have given up trying to fit my bioclock back to the way it used to be – i’m far too used to sleeping at 2am and waking up at around 10 or 11am.  Although i know it’s not healthy but i don’t seem to be able to get back into the 12mn-means-time-for-bed-and-wake-up- at-8am routine.  Gonna have to try harder soon though – all my days are going to start at 9am instead of 10am soon due to tutorials.

I’m looking forward to the Chinese New Year break, and dreading it at the same time.  I wonder why.

It’s 3am

And i can’t sleep.

If

By Rudyard Kipling
(one of my favourite authors, i might add :D)

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

Note: Taken from bing’s blog

I want to be somebody.

Not just a somebody, but somebody.

Anybody.

I want to be better than i am; better, stronger, faster.

I want to be the best at what i do.

Please let me be somebody.

If aselgeia is excess, unrestrained behavior and arrogance, then grace must be quite the opposite. Grace must be discipline, humility and modesty. If grace is the center of the room, then every time I move off center and away from discipline, humility and modesty, I move toward a side-door.

from http://www.atgodstable.com/

It is the intangibles, like friendships that make life more significant.

from http://www.eagles.com.sg/BlessingHome.html

I find it mildy freaky and very amusing that the past two mornings i’ve been waking up to find the song “Beauty and the Beast” ringing in my head. Never realised how nice that song is..though it’s a bit weird coz the last time i heard that song was when the movie was released way back when i was a kid. But anyway, here you go with the lyrics. Perhaps it may remind you of something in your past when such cartoons and good classic disney movies were popular. 🙂

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly

Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bitter sweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast

Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast

I saw my grandpa for the last time as we closed his coffin today prior to leaving for the crematorium.

I was told that he had accepted Christ prior to his death, even though he was in his demented state. I was happy to hear the news yet i wasn’t there so i don’t know for sure whether he meant it – i can only have faith and believe that somehow his soul is in God’s hands. But i was rather disappointed that the elder relative insisted on giving him a Buddhist funeral solely on the basis that he had been a Buddhist all his life and there was no reason for him to convert on his deathbed, even though those we were there were convinced. To respect their wishes (and my grandma’s too) they gave him a Buddhist funeral and cremation.

I realised how distant i’ve become from him – i used to see him every week as a child and teenager and he’d give me candy, or when i grew older, spent time talking to me. As much as i grew annoyed when i’ve have to repeat everything i said at intervals of 15 mins coz he’d forget, i’d never grow tired of his company and the way he would look at me as if he could see a plant in my heart that he was nurturing. In recent years i hardly saw him, and although he still recognised me in the last of his days, he never could remember that i’d ended my service to the nation over a year ago.

I tried not to cry as i stood by his still figure, but tears welled up and i had to will them not to drop – my family, even the extended family, needed me to be strong and support them while my uncles and father were busy running around. Guess that’s what happens when you’re the favourite grandchild.

I thought of how he would always buy crabs for me to eat on special occasions. I recalled looking up at him as a child and always seeing his hand extended with some sweets in them, knowing that if i took them there was nothing my mom could say about eating too much sweets. I remember the time when i asked him to stop smoking, if not for himself then at least for the younger cousins, and he promptly put out his cigarette in front of me. I will always remember the look in his eyes that held so much emotion, so much love for each of his children and grandchildren. I still have the image of his coffeeshop burned in my memory, the smell of the food and drinks wafting in my head. I smile when i think of the times when i talked to him when his mind was nearly gone, and amidst the repeated asking for my name, he would say things that sounded amusing but on retrospect, were very wise. And i continued to look at him as i walked past, knowing that there will be no more moments added to that collection that belongs to him.

I thought to myself, this was a man whom the monks deemed as “having lived a fulfilled life”, satisfying their two criteria of having lived past 80, and seeing more than three generations in his lifetime (his included, he saw 4). By my standards, he had lived a good life, having experienced and imparted much of life to us younger ones. And God willing, he would have lived what was left of his life at the time he knew God to His standards as well.

Grandpa, you will very much be missed by all of us. I know i will. Thanks for giving of yourself and setting an example to us in many ways – your memory is etched in our hearts.

The key to immortality is to live a life worth remembering.

Sanity

Been more than usual since i posted something of substance here…the past few days it’s been random posts of thoughts that fly in and little bits of poetry and stuff and whatnots there.  Guess it’s because there’s been so much going on in school and hall that i haven’t really had the time or anything to sit down and put everything down on paper/digital media.  The best i’ve been able to do is make mental notes and scribble some stuff down on my notebook as and when it pops into my head.

So far it’s been great – one week of school’s over.  The bad news is that i had to miss a lecture this week coz of IHG…will probably have to miss a few more of that same module, but i suppose i should be able to catch up.  I don’t suppose it can be THAT hard, even though it’s a SARTOR.  Supposedly the first lecture was just a pre-course briefing as informed by my friends in the same class, so i didn’t miss anything – he even dismissed them an hour early. 😀

IHG has been slightly fun and slightly disappointing.  Fun because games are always fun, but disappointing coz often we’d go ready for a game and everything but the rain would then dictate that the game could not be played.  Thankfully it seems to have cleared up today in time for one game, and also in time for the Funkamania semi-finals, which have given me a lot of ideas for steps in choreographing the dance for PhoenixFest. 😀 HOPEfully i can get a proper dance out fast and get it over and done with wahahah…but i realised that i miss dancing a lot, and i’m eager to get back to it.  For that matter, i already miss singing a lot too.  Gosh there are so many things i want to do, but i have to remember that just like all humans, i only have 24 hours a day.  Must learn to use my time wisely.

Perhaps then it’s a good thing that it’s only the first week of school – i’m still very much in the holiday mood.  Then again maybe i’m mixing up the cause and effect; the reason why i’m still in the holiday mood is because it’s the first week of school. hee. 🙂

It’s time for me to play a heavier role in my family.

The Sun!!!

The sky has stopped crying and the sun is out – first time in so many days. =)