Archive for May, 2006

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I think i've said it once, and i'll say it again: it's so ironic that i blog more in the school term than i do in the hols. It's not that my hols are so busy (though this present one might conceiveably be as soon as RHOC Phase 2 sets in) that i don't have time to blog. Maybe it's just that i'm too lazy to think about things in the hols – then again, that's not really true. Probably the only true reason is that i procrastinate coz i have so much time on my hands that i think i'll probably be able to put anything up at a later time (by which time i would have conveniently forgotten what i wanted to blog, or how i wanted to blog the thoughts). Conversely, in the term time, since my laptop is nearly always accessible to me i just blog whatever comes out as soon as it comes out coz i have other things to attend to without thinking about what i'm blogging at that time.

Figures that's how things work haha 😀

But speaking of which, i really should do something about this habit – it pretty much cost me most of my grades this sem, and also creates a lot of avoidable stress which is unwanted. Case study 1: i could have done a lot of RHOC stuff when the hols just started but i was too lazy to, and as such i have to rush it these few days. Even with the rush i won't be able to complete it on time (which isn't really a critical issue in terms of planning, more so at a personal level)

Case study 2: i realised that i actually scheduled meeting up with a friend at the same timeslot as the Epi meeting this week. Note to friend: although i know you'll forgive me for this (at least i hope you will haha), i'm really sorry i have to postpone our meeting up this time round. I'm honestly rather annoyed at myself for forgetting that i had a meeting on that day, and this puts me in a rather compelling case to spend more money and get myself a proper organiser that i can carry around as opposed to writing things on random pages in my notebook, but at the moment i think i'll stick to the calendar in my phone. It was just unfortunate that i didn't note down the meeting although the date had been set during the exam mugging period – which is probably why i didn't note it in.

It's funny coz i've mostly been someone who can't stand just doing nothing at all – i absolutely have to have a focal point at any one point of time. Stoning during lectures doesn't count 😀 But i also don't like to be busy to the extent that i don't have time to myself. I suppose it goes for everyone, that we like to do what we like to do, when and how we want to do it. Unfortunately, or perhaps in some cases fortunately, we often can't due to a great number of things, some of which are called laws, rules and social norms…the list is inexhaustive. But i digress, and i really should be working on that aspect of my character.

How ironic.

Well first of all, LPC rocked. 😀 i had such a great time even though i was constantly getting frustrated inside with things that i felt should/could have been done better, but on the whole it was great – i really should learn to stop jumping to conclusions so fast as to avoid getting so easily annoyed. It was a most excellent time of worship and prayer and i never will depart from what i believe because His presence was so strong in the place…the only way i seem to be able to describe it is that i felt like i touched His cloak. 🙂

Next up is that results have been released, and as expected, i dropped in grades again. Of course this pulls my CAP down very much, much much more than the last sem (though i actually hoped i could keep it thereabouts, but alas, it is not to be so). Despite all that, i’m not really bothered about it, but since it’s a fact and it happened i thought i’d put it up anyway. I didn’t expect to do very well this sem, granted that the topics were tough, the lecturers were bad (read previous posts) as were the notes, had a *aHEM* weird bunch of project groupmates and i had a hell lot of things to do in the sem so it’s pretty ok i guess. Don’t get me wrong, i’m not ungrateful for what God has given me despite all my falling asleep in lectures and missing tutorials, neither am i resigned to whatever has been given me. Rather i’m quite satisfied with these grades, though naturally anyone would be hoping for more regardless – that is, unless you already have a perfect score haha 😀

Lastly, i just thought i should announce that i cancelled my SEP to Melbourne. I have this feeling that i’m needed here, that God wants me to be here. For whatever reason. Then again i could be wrong, but i’m usually not so wrong about this kinda thing, especially since i really wanted (past tense) to go. But on another note, that kinda ensures that my hall stay is very much confirmed, and i’ll be seeing another round of caroling, cultural performances and IHG matches again. 🙂 Thanks JM for the prayer and support regarding this matter…and for anyone else at all who somehow found out and prayed nonetheless, though i don’t recall telling anyone else.

So good night, ladies and gentlemen, you’ve been a great audience. Please follow the blinking lights on the floor to the exit and make sure you pull your parachute cord after you jump, and not before. 😀

Irony

I witnessed the aftermath of a very minor bus accident today.  A bus hit the back of another bus just after the passengers had alighted from the bus in front.  Neither bus was visibly damaged, with the exception of the front and rear bumpers on the respective buses.

The location? At a bus interchange.

The advert on the buses? "Give way to exiting buses" 

Post edited by author on 19 May, Friday, 0023 hrs
I look, i think, i listen and i feel.

Feel. I sense and emphathize. Sometimes i can tell what will happen, like the way a predator moves downwind to smell its prey. And like a predator to prey i often steer myself into danger; physical, mental or spiritual.

Instinct often saves me, yet i struggle with the uncertainty of it.  That little voice that calls out from inside me, asking me to trust, to obey; it definitely gets heard too.  I want to believe it, to take the path it's leading me to, for too many times have i walked the other.

Someone tell me i'm normal.

But do i want to be?

Would it be that i had wings
To soar across the skies
To revel in the beauty of
The world when viewed on high
To let loose a cry that no one hears
But travels through the clouds
To reach a pair of far-off ears;
A whisper in the crowd.

Would it be that i could fly
And head into the sun
A blinding light that sears my eyes

When it signals the day is done
To sustain a blink and lose a sense
To move in darkness felt
To see the canvas of a masterpiece
As the sky from day to night melts

Would it be that i could glide
From peak to mountain peak
To gaze upon the rocks below
That stay firm beneath my feet
To know the years that they have worn
And to dream the years to come
Yet i would fly the skies alone
If there would be no one.

Just Weird

So i've been tagged by jadeite.  Here goes six weird things about me:

1) I have to sleep hugging something.  No bolster (e.g. in hall) means i hug my pillow.  How i keep my head on it and hug it at the same time, i have no idea – it just happens 😀

2) I keep all the books i've bought.  That include those that i used to read when i was just starting to learn how to read.  To date, my storeroom has over 1200+ books (we catalogued them some time back) On top of that, i can't stand dog-eared or folded or vandalised books, especially if they're my own.

3) I tend to sing the harmony and not the melody of any song that i happen to be listening to on my iPod, or any device with earphones.

4) In addition to my books, i keep all the notes i've had since JC.  I think my O level ten-year-series books are still somewhere in my cupboard.

5) I don't like to stop a song/game/book halfway and have to continue it another time – but if i have to i will

6) I get really annoyed at having absolutely nothing to do…ok maybe that's not so weird.

Gosh it took a lot to think of these – maybe i'm not as weird as i thought…i tag…mz and Klem 🙂 

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There's this…thingy…bugging me in the back of my mind.

I can't place exactly what it is nor what it's about, and i'm trying not to think about it coz when i do, it really bugs me.

I just don't get it. 

For those of you who know about my dreams and how they often come true, this one is a whopper.

I don't think it'll be very nice to put it here, but suffice to say, it's the second night in a row about this dream and it's really very freaky. Not scary in the horror sense, but the idea that i can even dream such things, or worse still that it might actually happen is freaking the crap out of me. I know, dreams are just dreams until God chooses to reveal what they mean, but i personally believe (through experience) that my dreams are just direct of what happens, as it has been so many times before. I even know which dreams will come true and which are just weird stuff stuck in my mind.

All of a sudden i don't feel like going to bed.

Just got back this morning from trip to Sentosa with a couple of friends.  Granted that it did rain here and there (at times it was welcome, at others it was not), we had a whole lot of fun laughing at games and stupid jokes and walking across the whole stretch of beach at Sentosa last at night when the tram services had stopped, just to camp at the tower on that "southernmost point of the Asia Continent".

On monday, when i went for VCF FOC Games Day, i ran into a lamppost and smashed my knees up quite badly.  Even now it's still a tad tender and hurts when i touch it, but thankfully i still can walk (though the handball match today, i..e saturday, is out of the question lest it get banged into and i collapse in pain).  I think there's some fluid inside and i'm led to believe (along with doctor's initial opinion) that it's an inflammation of some sort…hopefully just muscle, coz if it's ligament that means i'm effectively out of commission for a few more months, and even more so that my left ankle is still a bit stiff.  Left knee, left ankle, ah well.

All in all though, i immensely enjoyed my trip.  One of the side effects is that i'm still extremely tired and i'm going to miss those going back overseas soon to continue their studies, and also that i'm so darn tanned due to the exposure to the sun that i really do look malay in terms of skin tone.  Fun doesn't even begin to describe it. 😀

So before i collapse on my laptop from sleep deprivation, i'll sign off and get some rest and hopefully wake up EARLY tomorrow morning for a nice and bright sunrise. 🙂