Archive for August, 2006

…as both a statement and a question.

It feels like it’s been ages since i last blogged, but in reality my last post was only a few days back.  That shows how much has passed by in such a short time.  And in that short time i’ve realised quite a few things.

If you’re not careful, your time will slip out from under you.  That’s what happened to me.  Go for this, go for that, training here, lectures there, running from my room to the swimming pool to the hardcourt and then to the piano lounge then to CG…before i knew it, it became the third week of school and tutorials have started.  In no time, it will be mid sem break and then the exams will be here.  As much as i would like the holidays to start, i can’t say i’m looking forward to all the submissions that i have to make in time to come.  Yes there are still so many things that i wish to do, and although i wish to make that impact, i don’t want to kill myself along the way, nor sacrifice what really matters in life.

“Where your treasure is, there your heart is also” Perhaps you could say that i never personally realised the truth of the statement.  I simply couldn’t get it out of my mind as i went through today (no, it’s nothing against what i believe in) and i guess it’s not really a great thing as i was supposed to be concentrating on my lectures.  Then again, considering the standard of today’s lectures, i honestly feel that i’ve accomplished more than i would have if i had listened – the story of engin lecturers 😀

I hope to make a comeback this sem, in terms of spiritual life, studies, handball and choir.

Yet not my will be Yours be done. Help me.

And he said it here.

Dawned

I realise once again the significance of starting the day right.  These few days have been so hard for me to go through, long and dreary.  Today i woke up excatly as i intended to, and spend a while just being still and praying, dedicating the day to God.  Honestly, it’s something that i haven’t done in a while, considering that i’m always rushing to be on time for lectures after waking up later than planned, and pushing QT to the end of the day.

But as a result, today passed on fine.  Maybe it’s because i had a quick lab.  Maybe it’s because i had a good lunch with a good friend.  But even things like how i went all the way down to the Co-op for a particular textbook which was supposed to be on sale already, but wasn’t due in till the 30th (yes, three weeks late into the term) didn’t bother me as much as i thought it would.

I woke up early this morning
And looked into the day
I had so many things to do
That i had to take time to pray.

Value

Of Time

It seems a bit early, but i’m already experiencing the mid-sem syndrome…it’s the feeling that you have a lot to do but at the same time you don’t know what you have to do.  A piece of advice that i got regarding this situation is to list out everything i have to do, then get it done one by one.  Now this is great advice, but it really doesn’t help when one keeps thinking and thinking but cannot think of what there is to do – creating a list doesn’t help when you can’t remember anything 😀

So i try to fill up my time with things that are productive, exercise, reading, etc.

Of Life

Something happened recently that made me realise how important life is.  It’s made me want to grab every moment i can, not to waste a single second of it.  More significantly it’s made me look at others in a different light – never again will i take each life that passes me so lightly.  It makes me want to do things that count.

I just find it a bit sad that it takes such a drastic event to remind me about this.

Of Rest

No doubt all hostelites will agree with me on this, that rest is definitely a very valuable commodity to us.  Without rest, people become grumpy, minds don’t work, and impatient people like me become even more impatient.  But rest in the physical and rest in the spiritual is not the same thing – while one requires the material to recover, the other soothes the soul; neither can be done without.

I realise this is a rather random post, but i wanted to put these down in words before i forget them all.

When everything around seem to happen so fast
When certain things happen but you know they won’t last
When time seems to push itself to the slowest it can
When the clock moves like a snail more than a second hand
When you want for something you think you’re ready for
When people surrounding seem to be getting more
When it seems that chronology is not on your side
When the last thing you want is the time to bide
When you get restless from just sitting there
When you want to move off to you-don’t-know-where
When you’ve run out of patience and you’re running around
When what you’re chasing for can’t seem to be found
When you try so hard, looking left, looking right
When you’ve fought your way through the darkness of night
When you start to think that you’re going to be late
That’s when the hardest thing to do

Is

Simply

To

Wait.

The end of the first week of school and i thought i should put down a few things in words.

Considering that the first week was pretty much nothing, i can’t complain.  No labs, no tutorials…but when those set in, oh boy.  Lectures proper have already started, introduction to modules merely took 5 mins for each module’s first lecture and thus the actual lectures have already begun.  Perhaps it is rather unfortunate that my brain isn’t quite ready to absorb any actual information just yet, and so i’ve just been mindlessly copying down whatever there is to copy (translate: everything that the lecturer says and i can’t directly find in the notes given).   The next week, however, will not be so kind and i really should take some time to recover from RHOC aftermath, get my mind back in shape and put on some weight – just a few hours in church and i’ve already received comments that i’ve lost too much weight and now am too skinny.  So i’ve got to find a way to put on some weight without losing fitness…also because in this condition should i attempt to play an actual handball game i’d fly into the goal trying to defend against someone charging in. 😀

That aside, i really would appreciate prayers for time management this year.  I’m a little concerned with the amount of things i’ve committed myself to, and honestly i’m not too sure if i can handle them all at the level that i want to.  Of course, next year is a bit of a concern too (right, jm? 😉 ) but this year is obviously more urgent.  I just hope i don’t ruin everything and get my parent breathing down my neck and chasing me out of hall or telling me to stop certain activities either.

But just today, there are three things i want to remember.

Burning bridges, Committment and Sacrifice

Been a while since i had a good movie to enjoy, much less one that is this thought provoking.

Caught “Click” with a good friend today and had a great time chatting and catching up, something that he and i have been unable to do since i’ve been so busy with RHOC.  And of course the movie experience was only heightened by the company, but knowing me, everything i watch or hear triggers me thinking again…this time about life.

Adam Sandler was able to fast forward his life or look back into his past to remember things as well as skip the bad parts of life…at the end of it all, what was left with him was merely his career, and something that he missed out was the company of his family – wife and kids.  He learnt his lesson a bit too late (at least for the significant part of the movie) and i most certainly wouldn’t want to go the way he did.

But for one, it did remind me how important people are to us, more so our loved ones.  Perhaps the feeling is so much more accentuated as i’ve been having very little time with my family, and even with the people i would like to be hanging out with.  Which is not to say i don’t enjoy the time i have with my friends that i’m hanging out with now, just that at times i wish i had more than 24hours so that i could really keep up with those i hold dear.  So, so, so important is our family.

Now then, what’s so bad about skipping all the bad parts of your life?  Well for one, if we did that, then perhaps life would be far too easy, and we’d miss out on what i would consider to be great learning experiences, and in the movie, Adam Sandler found that he missed out on a large portion of life.  Is life was all up and no down…then where’s all the striving and challenge of life? What would make it so great?  Life isn’t a big problem that needs to be solved, but a journey to be enjoyed; nonetheless, if the downs don’t exist, it doesn’t take a genius to realise that we’d never appreciate the ups.

And once again, my thoughts fly to the place where i wish to be.   Or the time, rather.

Here We Go Again

And so school starts again, practically so for me, as my first lesson was today.  Three hours of discussion and theories is no joke, especially for a Human Resource module. (it’s HR2002, by the way, one of the requisites for engineering students to take in order to graduate.)  Honestly why it’s a requisite is beyond me – perhaps they feel that we engineering students simply can’t relate to humans at all. 😀

But as the sem starts, i can’t help but feel apprehensive again.  Don’t know if the responsibilities weighed upon me are too much and i stupidly (like my sem2 last year) overcommitted to things that i cannot fulfill.  There are many things i want to do, many things i want to improve and many things i want to start.  I would like to put some of these things on hold, but among this list there are also many things that i am running out of time for.  Each day i wake up with a reminder that we are merely human, bound by the 24 hours that we have, and limited by the amount of energy we can amass each night.

Random thought: i really should try to get a bit more sleep than usual to catch up with the sleep debt that i accumulated with RHOC…i’m still feeling the effects up till now.  And no, Joel, i didn’t “sell my soul” to RH. 🙂

I would really like to take this two weeks to start exercising again before tutorials start and time is really short. Next week labs start, and weekends are set aside already.  I really must make it a point to pay attention in class this year so that i don’t have to do so much studying on the side.

Well it’s finally over.  Maybe i shouldn’t have used the word “finally” – makes it seem like i was so eagerly awaiting for it to end; i have mixed feelings about RHOC ending, and i’m looking forward in a sense to seeing the term start proper, and getting more sleep (though probably not enough anyway haha).

And it had to be that the final event was under my jurisdiction.  Honestly i can’t think of anything offhand that i learned from the past two days.

But maybe just one thing from the entire orientation that i’d like to bring back through my life.

Lesson Numero Uno: whatever you do, do it as unto to the Lord and not unto men.

我真的很想很想知道.