RHOC Day 7: It’s Not Only Words

Yeah it’s been a tough journey so far, and i learnt something the hard way today.  Really hard way for a really hard lesson.

Lesson 1: Words hurt.  I should have known this a long time ago coz i wrote about it before a long time back, but i still don’t seem to learn what i know.  I guess it’s really deserving in that sense that teachers who teach other people are judged more harshly on the aspect that they are supposed to teach.  In other words, there goes my credibility in that area.  Unwittingly i said something that hurt another person – the words were not intentional to that purpose, nor were they harsh; in fact, from my point of view and to those close to me, it would have sounded very much like a joke.  Unfortunately, my smaller mistake (the larger one being the oversight on the words) was to realise that none of them were that close to me to understand what my intentions were, and it was construed so seriously that it caused someone to cry.  Perhaps i should stop saying “it” and start using “I”, since it was really my fault.  What makes the situation worse is that after an apology was issued, it was rejected – not to my face.  Openly speaking, the apology was seemingly accepted and i was not at fault at all…but to another person was told that i wasn’t sincere in my apology, that i simply did it because someone told me to.  I have no grounds to fight that on, neither am i too sure that i should.  And even worse still, now i’m seen to be the bad guy in that every word i say is an attack against someone.

Lesson 2: Perhaps the next lesson that pops to mind as i type this all out is that we’re all only human.  Imperfect information, imperfect knowledge, and imperfect judgement, myself included.  It rather saddens me to think about it, but at the same time i know i have this reliance on Him, who holds the future, my future, in His hands.  Who knows the what and when and who and how and why, and will reveal it in His own time.  I would dearly love to take a conscious peek into the future, but that would spoil things i feel.

Maybe i still have yet to learn to be patient for something.




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