Skribbler’s Skribblings 4

At this point of time i’m in the middle of a lab report that’s due for submission tomorrow (it’s almost done though), but my mind has given up on analyzing modal patterns, vibrations and oscillatory motion of a cantilever beam so i thought a spot of blogging would do me good. 🙂

And so since my last post, this song has been running in my head:

Daniel Beddingfield – If You’re Not The One

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Although there’s a lot in the song that i won’t exactly promote to other people, i think i understand what all the questions that he poses to himself in the song mean…about how he’d just know.

That aside, i’ve noticed something that was said last year by Yanchang, that people always seem to respond with a “tired” or “stressed” when asked how they’re doing.  I think it’s in times of that kinda feeling where all the more we have to spend time with God and with other people, talking to them and being there for them.  Some people ask me why i bother spending so much time talking to people or showing snippets of concern to them (i know i also tend to show a lack thereof, so spare me on that – i’m still only human, to which i’ll say something about that later).  I guess i really believe that it’s a worthwhile investment that will pay off one day, which is something even my parents have a hard time understanding why i value it so much more than studies though i do spend time studying and doing my best.

This also leads me to think about the past few weeks where i’ve been feeling very isolated, for lack of a better word.  It reminds me of how one can be surrounded by people and yet still feel lonely – only that my focus here now is on how there seems to be a lack of support on my side.  At times i’m left hanging at the edge of the cliff and it’s just me and God – which is a good thing i suppose.  I’m also grateful to JM and LionKing for spending time to really dig out everything and guide me in one way or another, and the few friends i know who are (perhaps unconsciously) keeping me accountable – diTz, Wormy, Ms. SpellMeBackwards and Piggyiling.  But what surprises me when i thought about this is not that i’m lacking support (God gives all readily and He’s there 24-7); instead, it’s about where i’ve gotten it from.  With the exception of JM and LionKing, the rest i never would have expected to have come up in that sector of my life (the private sector, if you will).  And for those i would have expected it to come from…well i guess God has a way of teaching me that His plans are really higher than mine, and i can’t do any better. 😀  Thanks goes to all those mentioned above, you know who you are 🙂

On a more humourous note, i’ve been receiving a lot of emails congratulating me on getting into the finals for Singapore Idol through my NUS email.  I guess it doesn’t really help that SG Idol Finalist Jonathan Leong is also my age and matriculated in the same year as me.  I’m sure he’d appreciate the support that he has from many many people out there (just by counting the number of good wishes emails i’ve gotten in his stead), provided that they were sent to the right email, thus allowing him to read them XD

And so after a half hour respite, it’s back to measuring amplitudes and nodal positions.  Thank you folks, you’ve been a great audience.  Please remember to take all your belongings with you when you leave, especially your car keys and husbands.  Push your chairs in after you leave, and line up in two straight rows, hold your partner’s hands as you walk out of the room, and don’t forget to tip the ushers. 😉


  1. blongster

    its good to know that there are people who are supporting you despite your shortcomings. its greater a blessing to know that at times, blessings come in times and through people you least expect from.
    are you holding onto a old-relationship that is doom to never happen or rekindle again? move on and let go.. find someone who would recipocrate your love and concern, rather than one whose heart is only made of stone.




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