Archive for November, 2006

I could blog about how i screwed up my paper today, the first disappointment i’ve had this week, and not a very good time to have it too, seeing as the next paper i haven’t the foggiest idea as to what’s going on, and pin the reasonable blame on the lectures.

I could blog about how i’m getting used to drawing lineart and i’m anticipating a few linearts out during the hols if time permits and how i’m hopefully going to colour them properly should i have time to learn how to use the paints and all.

I could blog about how i haven’t been able to sleep well (again) the past few nights and i have no idea why, seeing as i’m dead tired and not particularly stressed enough for it to keep me awake, perhaps until now.

But, something more pressing weighs upon my heart than all these personal concerns (though if you were to read this and drop me a msg i would be very grateful for your concern and would be willing, if time and God permits, to share my feelings with you regarding the above matters).

It is about how the church is today.

As God’s people, are we not to show love to all around us, even more so to our fellow brothers and sisters? Indeed we are – yet it pains me that so many of us, myself included, put our own wants above other’s needs, and so fail to touch yet another life for eternity. How is it then, that the children of the God of love can speak so harshly and tear another down with their words and actions?

Words. I’ve mentioned this before, and i think it is worth reminding us how words can cut deep. Even something as simple as a value judgement on someone else seems as harsh and as sharp a blow to that person as Mike Tyson’s bite to the ear was. But words are merely one way that is most common. There are our actions. Our inactions.

How is it, that when faced with a situation where we are given an opportunity to touch lives, we blatantly choose to protect our own, safe as it is? When did we start assuming things and considering ourselves better than others? Where has the spirit of the church of ages past gone, where they would sell all they had and give it to the needy, trusting that our God, Jehovah Jireh, will provide?

When did we stop trusting? When did we stop seeing the value of another person, or the life that would possibly carry on to the next? When did stop thinking how we may help others and started looking out for ourselves and ourselves only?

When did we forget the true meaning of love?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails

…And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.

But the greatest of these is love.

And when will we remember?

Two down

…And three more to go.

I must say something though – for all my crabbin’ and complainin’, this sem’s exams so far have been enjoyable.  More than just a reflection of my kvetching nature, i think the good part of that is perhaps, just perhaps, i’m finally learning to enjoy what i’m studying.

Whoever thought the pseudo-arts-student jon would ever learn to enjoy engineering? 😀   Even more so since i really haven’t been as anxious this time round – and before i attribute it to a virtuous quality that i’m trying to learn, i will state that there is a very fine line between surrender and nonchalance. 😀  Yet i cannot discredit that i truly believe that this feeling is due to the many many prayers of the many many saints that have been on their knees for me and the other people going through exams in this season – so if you’re one of them, thank you.

I have discovered something though – everytime i have wanted to play ball during this season it rains.  So those of you out there who want the rain, tell me and i will declare that i will plan to play ball at the time frame you want the rain to be.  And those of you who don’t want the rain, please tell me also so that i don’t plan to play ball coincidentally when you want it to be sunny.  If there are clashes inbetween the requests then i will obey my inner baller and see the intensity of the urge to shoot the ball through hoops. 😀

That is, if my inner nerd doesn’t nudge me in the direction of my notes. 😀

Reprise

Felt like putting this one up again since i’m feeling the same way as i did when i first put it up.  Sorry to those who were expecting another burst of inspiration.

This post is addressed to you.

There is so much to say to you, such that neither talking online, nor on the phone, nor meeting up when we can will do justice. Each time we start another conversation it doesn’t seem to find its end, and i don’t think either of us want it to.

There is so much to say that i don’t think the english language can encompass all the expressions that i’d want to share, or at the very least, not in my limited capability and knowledge of the language.

There is so much to say that i wish there were some way to stall time except the two of us and just get together, within a group or just the two of us, over a cup of coffee (be it ice-blended or piping hot) and simply talk, without having to worry about the deadlines or exams or assignments or tutorials or school. Without having to think about the next thing that will be coming our way in life, or what we’re going to do after graduation, because time has granted us an eternity to talk.

There is so much to say that even if the above chronologically impossible situation were to take place, i think we’d grow old and die before we get to say everything on our minds, unless they could invent something that would enable telepathic ability by then, and allow us to communicate simply by thought. Perhaps even that wouldn’t even be enough for us to complete it in a lifetime – the conversation might very well carry on into the next, and i would then hope we have the chance to do so.

There is so much to say to you. Whether you are my friend, my brother or sister, a past or future love, a close soul or a distant accquaintance, someone i just said hi to recently or might not have the chance to greet you again, mentor or someone who’s asked me for advice before, someone i talk to a lot or not at all, whether i barely know you or i’ve known you for years, there is so much to say and i think there will always be.

But there is so little time.

And perhaps..there will never be enough time.

 

Weekend, so to speak

It’s the weekend, though for some of us it’s not really a weekend because there’s an exam paper on monday (yes, yours truly included). Despite that, i really haven’t been studying for today. Today comprised of excellent breakfast with great company, doodling, lunch and BS with JM, gym, finishing an interpretation of a character on the laptop with the tablet and colouring it, then some time in conversation with a friend, and now blogging.

Surprisingly, contrary to my nature, i’m very relaxed about this exams. Even more surprisingly so because i know that this exam is the one that i’m going to have to count on to pull my grades up. That being said, i guess it’s a good thing to be relaxed about exams, really – it keeps your mind more conscious and all.

But i really should be studying…though honestly there’s no drive to.

Emo.

I was supposed to collect my shirts today as mentioned in the previous post.  But when i reached the shop i was resigned to the fact that the printer had lost my shirts and i had to wait at least another day before they came in.  I was really looking forward to seeing everything printed and i really hated having to explain to everyone who ordered them from me why the shirts are going to come in late.  It doesn’t help that the next week is full of exams and i don’t have the time to go down and collect the shirts, but it doesn’t look like they care anyway.

So i was planning to run it out and let the exercise take it out of my system.  And then it rained.

Now i feel like eeyore.

FIXED!

For the past i-dunno-how-long i’ve been trying to figure out why everytime i login to my wordpress account i get redirected to the “new post” page with the title filled in as the old name of my blog, and the text field the same text with a link directing to that uncreated-as-of-yet post.

Apparently what happened was back when i saved the login page as a bookmark, it automatically saved this whole string of stuff behind the usual login URL that redirected me to the new post page, and specifically filled with those areas and that text.  Now i have no idea how this happened, seeing as i used to log in from my main page, but i’m just glad it’s cleared now because it’s SO much cleaner to do so.

One more time

More lyrics that are playing in my mind.

终于明白你以变成回忆
没有言语能够说明当别人问起
谱了一段旋律没有句点
也无法再继续
像埋伏在街头的某种气息
无意间经过把往日笑与泪勾起
忽然心痛的无法再压抑
原来从未忘记
Melody脑海中的旋律转个不停
爱过你 有太多话忘了要告诉你
Melody 无数动人音符在我生命
爱过你 失去你我才知道要珍惜
当时无法为你写的那首歌
都是我永远的遗憾
当爱逝去 如果所有的错重来一次
能否改变结局
终于落下休止符的那首歌
我听着每一个音符流过的回忆
为什么在那么多年以后
还不能说再见
Melody 脑海中的旋律如此熟悉
爱过你 在我心里只能轻轻叹息
Melody 无数动人音符在我生命
爱过你 失去你我才知道要珍惜
Melody oh Melody
我永远不能忘记
你是多么的美丽
让这音乐一直不停响起
Melody oh Melody
我舍不得去忘记
我们快乐的过去
请别让我从这梦境清醒
Melody 脑海中的旋律如此熟悉
爱着你 求你听我唱完这一段旋律
请不要离去
Melody 你是在我脑海不停的旋律
爱过你 我的心里只能无言叹息
Melody 无数动人音符在生命里
爱过你 失去后我才知道要珍惜你

You know, i find it mildly ironic that i’m feeling the most creative and i have the most inspiration for the arts that i pursue when it’s the examination period.  Chonghan says it’s because that’s the period that we’re the most idle, and i have to agree at least in the mental aspect because there’s nothing extra to learn…but doesn’t that also mean that i’m supposed to be studying instead of blogging here on his laptop? hahaha.

In other areas, i finished two out of four concepts sketches and linings on paper for the “Wildkatz” series of characters i just decided to do.  I dunno why four, it just seems like a balanced number, but the last character is baffling me as to what to put him as – i already have an idea of what i want for the third character, and that will come out either over the weekend if i can afford the time, or after the exam when i forcefully squeeze in time inbetween choir camp, Anntic, IHG Handball training in which i hope to prove myself worthy enough to play in the first team, and my own personal pursuits of designing more Tshirts upon requests.  So far none though 🙂

Tomorrow’s the first exam – HR! BAH! Be prepared for a lack of posts here then…but then again, knowing me, i’ll still be updating regardless, seeing as i’m still updating now.

Tomorrow’s also the day i collect my sharkman shirts! YAY!

Talk about mixed feelings. 😀

In recent days i recalled that i used to be called “wildkat” (with an intentional spelling error) in my secondary school years, primarily because of the way i played certain sports.  These days it means a different thing to me and i’ve taken the liberty of making it into a logo for all my future t-shirt prints and character designs.

On a separate note, i just had the most freaky dream last night, and perhaps that explains why i can’t sleep these days.

It really freaks me out.

I have less than 4 days to my first paper (yes my paper is in reading week thanks to the weird people who set the timetable), of which two nights are set aside for other stuff (i.e. non-academic) and i purposed to exercise every night, a short run to keep my level of fitness maintained at least, if not improved, and i haven’t been able to sleep well for three nights, having a total of perhaps 4 hours of sleep over those nights.

But that’s not why i’m freaked out – why i’m freaked out is that i still have the energy to do other physical stuff like play basketball and handball, and all i can think of at this point of time is how to correct my most recent drawing.

Help.

Past.

I find it amusing and at times nearly comical when i look at my archives blogposts – they were at times full of such lame things that i didn’t realise i was doing at that point of time.  They also remind me of how much i’ve changed.

And because of that, i’m also a little bit disgusted that i used to be like that.