Archive for February, 2007


And so i subjected myself to two turns of total and utter embarrassment today: first for about 10 mins across the entire hall and to everyone whom i happened to bump into while running around the 6 blocks, then once more while we were doing comm hall runs for Rhazzmatazz, and the choir was singing “Arabian Nights” to which i was mimeing a crude mime of the verse.

But ah well…i guess all in all, each was worth it’s purpose.


I think it really cheers up a person’s day when you tell that person that he/she is appreciated, loved, and you’re glad he/she’s around.



At times like this i just wonder if i’m simply childish for feeling what i do.

I know at times i can be very harsh on myself, blaming myself for things that aren’t exactly under my control at all.  But some things, though one might say isn’t “under one’s control”, are simply inherent to that person.  And those things, not being “bad” in itself, can also cause damage either to the people around, or to the one with the characteristic.

And so it is in this light that i seriously consider myself.  Maybe i beat myself up too much, too often.  Maybe that in turn affects my self-esteem at times. Maybe i should learn to start being stronger or understand things for other’s perspectives more.  Maybe it’s just a part of me that makes me different from everyone else around me, or so everyone else around me claims.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.  But the funny thing about maybes is that the final answer still remains the same: I don’t know.

At times like this i just feel stupid.


Interesting how i blogged about Lunar New Year on Valentines’ Day and am having Valentines’ Day thoughts on Lunar New Year.

You know the song that goes “some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this”? Ever wonder how it would feel that way? Ever wonder how it would feel if you had that moment say, every night or day, or if you really had to wait your lifetime for that moment?

It may be strange that the English Language is rather amusing: we recite at a play, but play at a recital.  Teachers teach, doctors doctor, preachers preach and pastors pastor; but lawyers don’t law. If i ask someone “can you tell me the time” and he says “yes” then walks away, we’d find it weird even though he’s answered the correct question.

Why are stainless steels called stainless when they still get stained? (P.S. It’s the oxide that prevents corrosion)

Lunar New Year

There’s been a lot of hype and i’m actually looking forward to this year’s lunar new year – especially since i didn’t get to go visitation last year due to superstitious reasons.  It’s always fun meeting most relatives and eating my heart out (only to have to work it off again later). ^^;;;

Yet for obvious reasons, i’m also not really looking forward to it coming.  Ah well, i’ve got to learn certain things the hard way i guess.  Doesn’t help that relatives are also the typical kind.

Reminded today (in a more timely fashion than ever) that affirmation is ever so important – so often if you think you’re giving enough then you’re not.  And so easily we forget to encourage those around us that they’re doing a good job when they really are.  It’s almost as if we expect them to know that they’re doing a good job and they should be, so all we really do is slam them when they’re not – whatever happened to the pat on the back where deserved? (and only when deserved, please…we don’t want people to be encouraged for doing the wrong thing, or not doing their best)

Maybe, just maybe, we need to stop looking at the bad points and start looking at the good – it’s so easy to be critical.  But to receive grace we have to give it as well – without the outflow there can be no inflow. Sometimes the problem doesn’t lie with the person doing things, it may very well be our own perspective that causes us to see the wrongs – a simple case of “you only see what you’re looking for”.

And i’m glad that reminder came in time – because i was able to use it near immediately.

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These green guys and their wisecracks used to spice up my life back when i was a kid, with their slick ninja moves and lame jokes about Shredder.

I watched the first movie when it came out, and even bought the sticker book to collect all the stickers (the kind that came in packs and you didn’t know which stickers you had inside them so you just had to keep trying) and eventually completed the entire stickerbook.

I watched the second movie that came out, which at that time i felt honestly wasn’t as good because they tried too hard to dramatize it and it was a tad difficult to make a rubber costume look sad (though the “beaten up” look was really well done in certain scenes), but it caught my attention nonetheless.

And now after many years, the animated movie is coming out,  to which i can expect slicker moves than Spider-Man, faster action than a Jacky Chan movie and probably more lame jokes than erm….me ^^;;; It thus goes as no surprise that i’m seriously waiting for this movie to come out and i’m so going to watch it!

(Figures it comes out toward the end of March – i’m becoming more and more certain that movie releases are designed to make people like me fail exams)


I think sometimes i need to stop defining things by my own standard, especially when it gets me all uptight.

But that’s the way i am and think – how do i change that?


Sometimes i get a little too emo for my own good, and it’s not really some big event that makes it happen, but rather that i let things pile up emotionally and then something becomes the straw that breaks the camels’ back.

And yes, i do let little things affect me. Simple things that really shouldn’t. Really. Yet i can’t seem to help it, and sometimes i just feel moody out of nowhere with no place to belong and nothing much i can do about it.

I used to force myself to snap out of it. Maybe it’s because i’ve given up a part of me that allows me to do that for something else better, that now i can’t do it, though at times like this i wish i still could. I guess one way of comforting myself is that i’m in touch with my emotions (which is exactly what i would have thought to say to another person experiencing what i am) but i also somehow think that’s not much of a comfort to someone who doesn’t really want to be in touch as much as he is with his emotions (which is exactly why i’ve never used that line to comfort anyone).

And sometimes i blog something just to let some emotion out, without knowing exactly what it is that i’m blogging about…though i wish at times i really didn’t have that urge to do it, knowing in part that after a while these feelings will disappear after some predictable events occur.

But i guess i can’t help it.