One Down. Is it Black Hawk?

Exam Timetable:
ME4251 28/11 1pm
ME4254 03/12 5pm

Yes that means that the first one is done already.  Actually i wanted to blog more before that but i refrained from doing so, thinking that in exercising restraint i would be disciplined enough to to study for it, but instead i spent time doing other things and playing games πŸ˜€ ah well, it’s over and no point brooding over it.  I just thought blogging everything out here would be nice because i haven’t had a chance to express myself in carefully selected words for a long time. πŸ˜€

I think what results in all my thinking is sometimes so logical that most people would have been able to think it out in the first place.  But yet it scares me that i sometimes take so long to come up with the same conclusion that other people have already come up with in a flash.  Maybe they’re just more experienced in those matters, as i hope to be eventually in the areas of my interest or other areas that i happen to pursue; yeah come on, let’s face, most of the stuff that we feel that it’s necessary to do we don’t really find interest in them: to most of us it’s more of a means to an end than anything else. 

I also think that’s how sometimes we treat people.  We’re only nice to them because we feel that it’s a necessary characteristic of what we deem to be the ideal condition.  But i realized that if i keep defying what i truly feel, something stirs up within me that begs for a primal form of release before i revert into a primal form.  Two solutions to this problem: number one, i avoid the person, creating a least damage caused situation and two, i tell the person off in the face, which sometimes i feel really would solve the problem (in which case i would do it) but sometimes it doesn’t and so i revert back to option number one.  Kindly note that i execute option number two gently,  and not as harsh as i made it sound above, but if you don’t believe me there’s nothing much i can do.

<rant>

To be honest, i’ve had my fill of emo people, whiners and spoit brats recently.  Don’t even talk about the next generation, my generation is bad enough.  Yes that’s this generation.  What’s with all the whining and demanding that people do what you want and emo-ing your life away.  If you want to solve a problem, then look for a solution.  Oh i dunno, pray, think, experiment, whatever.  I’m not saying you can do everything by your own strength, to which i actually believe the opposite (i.e. we can’t do anything by our own strength), but goodness, God gave us brains and muscles for a reason you know.  If you think, for a pure hypothetical example, you have to learn to be content with what you have, then please, learn to be content with what you have and stop telling people (over 3 years!) continuously that you have to learn to be content with what you have and do absolutely nothing else about the matter at hand.  Kindly note that here i’m referring to conversations with another person and not blogging.  You blog what you want to blog, it’s your personal space and if i don’t like it i’ll buzz off from your blog.  Any of you out there can do the same with mine and i won’t whine about you people not reading my blog.

I just don’t understand how such brains are wired.  And i know it’s not just me because other people are agreeing with me on many counts of many people.  For the record, i don’t hate such people; i just don’t want to be around them when it happens that they go all emo.  Yeah fine you’re my friend and all that, but that doesn’t mean i have to do what you tell me to, especially not when you demand it from me and it’s not in my capacity to do so.

</rant>

That being said, i’m happy about how the week has progressed and how everything’s been moving so far.  I picked up this quote from i can’t remember where and it said

I can summarize all that life has taught me in three words: It goes on.”

And doods and doodettes out there, this is so true.  Of course if you end your life it won’t go on, but then again that’s a lesson from death not from life, so it’s not applicable anyway.

I think life is great.  Life deals you troubles, woes, sadness, but it’s still great.  You wanna know why? Because after all that fades, what’s left?  I have something to look forward to at the end of each day, and it’s more than one thing.  I have met starving people, fat people, rich people, poor people, sick people, well people, and from each class of people i known at least a few who are happy.  Unfortunately i know a lot of people who also think that they are among the bottom and no one can convince them otherwise.  Heads up people, false modesty is not humility and it is disgusting.  Especially when you’re trying to elicit compliments from people.  So stop it.

And i was showering the other day and it kinda struck me.  (maybe one day i’ll think about why people always come up with thoughts in the shower.  Is it because there’s nothing that requires mental effort there and one is compelled to think about something to keep the brain active?  Or alternatively the brain digs up something for you to think about that you never really did?)  I’ll be leaving Raffles Hall in less than a year.  Yeah, how duh can that be.  But the full impact of it is…

1) I’ll be leaving people/person behind
2) I’ll be leaving handball behind
3) I’ll be leaving much of my performances behind
4) I’ll be leaving where i stayed and grew into behind

…and many many more.  Don’t get me wrong, i don’t belong to the hall, and i’m not so ingrained that i can’t live without such a life.  But it takes something like that to realize that a huge chunk of my life really is part of hall, if for no other reason that i live here and i would have lived here for a good three years by the time i leave.  I don’t think many people who leave hall realize this until they leave it and maybe one day they’ll come back from work and think hey i’ve got dance practice….oh wait i’m not in hall anymore, what should i do then? and then it’ll hit them.  Either that or they’re all too busy to realize what’s going on πŸ˜€

Busy-ness.  It’s well known that when you’re busy your priorities will start to show.  It’s like when you’re hard on money you only spend on things that really matter to you (be they necessary or not).  And when time is short you spend it with things or people that matter to you.  That being said, i’m sorry to many of my friends that i really haven’t had the time to talk or catch up with you in recent weeks/months.  In a way i guess i wish i hadn’t made myself so busy, but i only have myself to blame for choosing the path i do, and i’ll take it with no regrets πŸ˜€ well at least i know some of you guys still exist, all the way from sec school days and some of you have been the bestest friends out there all the way through army and even now when i’m the only one in Singapore. πŸ˜€  Others who don’t fall into that category, you also know who you are.

And just so that the record shows that i’m a normal guy, i’m also thankful that being busy has given me an excuse NOT to talk to a bunch of you. πŸ˜€  Let’s face it, there are people i’d rather not come into contact with, not only because you’re annoying, but also that you treat me in a way i really detest to be treated in.  I don’t understand how or why you treat me that way (maybe you treat everyone that way i don’t know and i don’t wish to hang around long enough to find out), but i’m glad i have yet another excuse to avoid such treatment.   Not that i used to need any, i’d just walk away at the first given opportunity.

And i’m thankful for the people that i’ve been able to keep in contact with even though i’m busy.  One who is usually always around me (of course), and the others who bother to msg me and ask me how i’m doing, like a bunch of brothers and sisters.  Four years of friendship really shows up now, and i know there are people i’d rather not have lost, but i’m quite sure there are people whom i’ve forgotten, as well as those who have forgotten me.  I guess friends fade (unintentionally and regrettably sometimes) but we all have to deal with people coming in and out of our lives at one point of time.  At least.

And as a final thought, i still think people should watch their words more than we care to.  So many times a hurtful thing has been said, even from me, and we don’t stop to consider that perhaps something we said really hurt and he/she might just be crying into his/her pillow at night at what we said for lack of a better outlet of sadness.

There is never a reason to be unkind”

And i still hold that there would never be.

Sorry for the long post folks.  I’d like to say a great deal more things here, but i think it’s long enough and it’s been a long day with formulating bits and pieces of this post over the course of almost 10 hours.  If not for the fact that my hand still aches from all the writing today, i’d go back to my work, but as it is i think i should get myself a break sometime soon, so that’s all for now folks.

Sleep well, drink more water, and don’t forget to tip the ushers!


  1. rasilon

    I enjoyed reading this. These perspectives seem very grounded and balanced to me. I appreciate you putting these thoughts online. I think that you and I have multiple overlaps in terms of thought process and philosophy.

    -off to drink more water.
    rasilon




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