Whine. Talk.

I had to separate this from the previous (vaguely humourous) post because i didn’t want to confuse the tone of the two.  Besides, i like the headers to signify what the post is going to be on about.  This one has two parts.

Let’s set this straight: I don’t like whinings. (part 1)

It’s ok if it’s part of fun, and we’re all joking around and people whine in a joking manner.  That’s totally ok, and i do that sometimes too because it doesn’t mean anything in the situation.  But to whine when you want people to do something for you, when you can’t seem to achieve the progress you wanted, when you simply are at a loss for things, then i’m not very inclined to listen to you.

Note that i never said you can’t do it, i just said that i may not listen.

I might take it from certain people, even willingly so, because they are close to me or important to me, but even then there’s a line to be drawn.

Some real-life examples and my thoughts:


Example 1: Your FYP is not moving as fast as you’d like it to and you whine that it’s a total loss, you’re stuck in it, it’s at a standstill, etc etc

Response: First of all, you’re exaggerating, which is a common thing for people who are whining to do.  But that means you’re not saying things as they are, i.e. not telling the truth.  I can understand the frustration, but the response is totally unaccounted for, because there are still things you can do about it.  My immediate impression of you is someone whom if i were your boss and i told you that i need something critically important done within the next hour, you’d curl up and die.  If i were an employer, i’d at least appreciate that if my employees were to clarify what needs to be done.


Example 2: You were unable to to something due to other committments, and people ask you why you were unable to finish that something, so you whine that you had other things to do.

Response: Now at least the truth is being told, but presentation-wise i think simply explaining calmly that there are other things to do works much better than whining. Much, much, better.  No body’s accusing you of being a slacker, or that your priorities are screwy (yet) but in case you didn’t know, you just gave them a reason to do so.


Now i know i’m not exactly the world’s most patient person, and for your information i never professed to be.  I may or may not listen, depending on who you are and how important the situation is, to your whining, but it doesn’t give me a better impression you; in fact it gives me a worse one.  For friends reading this who converse with me over email (and there are quite a few), relax.  I refer here to a select number of people whom i sometimes talk to in person and who do this on a regular basis; it’s a little hard to whine in the fashion that annoys me over email because you have to be really really good at translating those weird sounds and noises that you make with your nose over written text in a readable form, so none of you have been able to do that just yet. XD

So as much as i value conversations and finding out how my friends are doing, i don’t like having to put up with whining.

And speaking of conversations, that leads me to part 2: conversations aren’t debates, and i thoroughly dislike entering into conversations in which i have to fight to talk to you.  If you want to clarify things, that’s great and i have no problem with that – i’m not the best explainer of matters, so there are bound to be some terms or situations that will need clarification.  Sometimes i might say things that don’t really fit the situation because of my limited vocabulary, and i will resort to using alternate words to get my point across – correct me, please, because i also want to learn.  But if every possible nuance, phrase, terminology and context is put into question and fired far into the shadow of doubt then i really don’t feel like talking to you at all.

Again, this does not mean that if for some reason i’ve stopped talking to you (yes, you the reader) as much as i did before, that you are doing this.  There are plenty of reasons (as i’m sure we all know) that conversations lose their frequency, and this is merely an active one.

Conversations aren’t meant to be contests, and if you have problems understanding the leisure of the activity then please go look up the definition and the context and nuance and etc of the action, since you like to pick on those of my words so much.

I know i’ve blogged about both matters before, but for some reason they keep coming back at me.  Maybe i’m severely intolerant of such behaviour, granted that they come primarily from people who are about to graduate.  I’d seriously like to see how such people survive in the working world like that: it could very well become a case study.

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