Hate.

I wanted to use the F-word here, but i shall calm myself and be civil. Or not.  But you can just imagine as you read on how many times the word could pepper my post.

I hate people who are showoffs.  I hate people who are two(or three or even four)-faced, who define themselves as the ultimate truth, who are hungry for power to the extent that they will push other people around for it, who show false modesty, who pretend to be so damn squeaky clean in front of girls but be a bastard with guys, who want fame and glory to themselves, who like to dominate over other people and bark orders to them, who have the obsessive need to want to show to the world all of their abilities (or in reality lack thereof).  I hate Christians who talk the big talk but don’t live the loving walk.  I hate them because at the bottom of it all, these people treat other people like scum even though they claim they are loving.  I hate them because they drive away so many people from God, even those who follow Him and have already placed doubts in my own mind about what i believe in and whether it’s worth following since it spawns this kind of people.  I hate them because they make so many people believe they’re so damn good and it infuriates me to see everyone fall for it.  I hate them because at the core of it all they are liars to themselves, and that makes me hate them.

I grew up with these kind of people around me and i was always the target.  I learned that they are the people who will most likely get the fame, the power, the popularity and have everyone sing praises of them because they know how to play around with other people’s minds.  I learned how to defy their mindtricks with logic and spot them a mile away, and use it against them.  I learned that these people will always exist wherever i go, and thus never had to give myself the false consolation that once i leave a particular place i will be rid of such people (maybe except life).  I have learned to accept that fact, and live a simple live with my own abilities, with what i have, and enjoy what i can without having them taken away from me.

I have known this for a good damn 13 years of my life, with all the shit that i’ve been through, and it’s carved on my heart like it would be carved on stone.

And after 13 years, the same damn thing is so difficult to deal with that it boils in my heart and i feel like punching the walls and screaming my heart out, just to cause some pain to myself so that i don’t feel this one anymore.




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