Archive for October, 2004
for the brothers and sisters who have problems surrendering all to God, here’s something a dear sister gave me:
As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He is my friend
But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own
At last, I snatched them back again
And cried, “How could You be so slow?”
“My child,” He said, “What could I do?”
“You never did let go.”
hey God…
Yes?
why do you love everyone?
What do you mean?
i mean, you love everyone right? even the unlovable ones…why?
Why not?
coz some of them are…well…wrong. they cheat, they steal, they abuse what you’ve given them as natural talents or abilities. you detest such practices right? you said so yourself in your book. i mean, look at her, she takes people for granted and uses her looks to get what she wants. and him, he cheats on tests and takes the credit for it. and them, they two-time their own boyfriends and girlfriends…they cheat, lie and steal..they’re so evil and so sinful! i know i’m not exactly at the zenith of holiness either, but i don’t do all that right? and sometimes it even seems that they have it better off than the others who are trying so hard to walk right with you..
What would you have me do?
you did say the wages of sin is death right? but since you’re merciful and all, you could just give them a bit more hardship in life? take away that BMW that he just got, call rain down upon his golf day..i dunno.
or you could chase out the demons in them! i liked it when you did that to the demon-possessed man back when your disciples couldn’t..it showed your power and sovereignty over all the earth and beyond!
or you could perform miracles like you did for Moses, water out of the rock, parting of the Red Sea, a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night!
all these seem so small compared to what you already..
wait..
you already died on the cross for them. you suffered the most horrible death, to pay for their sins, to render them clean and righteous before you. that’s why you love them isn’t it? because they’re yours; you paid the price for them, the ultimate price you could pay.
forgive me, i spoke out of turn.
Morbid thoughts have a way of gripping you in the midst of life…
When people die, they want to leave behind a legacy that will last. That’s how the saying “to be immortal, live a life worth remembering” came about. But it got me thinking…when i die, what do i want to leave as part of me?
Ok, maybe not so morbid, what if i disappear? Will i be missed? Will anyone notice? Or am i just like a piece of driftwood that’s noticed when it’s there, but not thought of when it’s gone? Would i be remembered? I’m not even so concerned about what i’m remembered FOR, though i definately wouldn’t want it to be something bad.
When i die, i want to have lived a life that people can say this about me in all honesty:
“I lived a part of my life easier because he lived.”
Maybe only when i die, will i realise what i’ve done.
i’m back here again
calling on my Saviour
i’m hidden with shame
from the many times i’ve stumbled
but each time You would pick me up
in Your arms, and hold me again
call me by name and shower Your mercy
forgiving my sins
and i’m lost in this presence
of mercy on earth
that God Himself should come down
and die for all of us
and i know that no matter
how hard, how hard i try
i can never pay that price
so i still will look twice
to Jesus,
my Perfect Sacrifice
Dunno what’s going on man…i think i’m being used.
Yeah you heard that right. I’ve come to realise that some people only “care” about me when they need my help or a favour from me. After that i can be left alone, as in really alone. Where were the days where people used to genuinely care about your well-being, instead of just utilizing you to help fulfill their own personal whims. As long as you’re beneficial to them they keep you by their side, but when they’re done they toss you aside.
So what am i going to do about this. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Can’t really do anything can i? so i’m still going to look like an idiot, helping those who don’t really care, but hey if that’s what i am, then that’s what i am.
Oh well..i guess i’d rather be an idiot than a jerk.
This week’s programming lab was a killer, even my programming genius friend couldn’t complete it on time. So in true spirit of determination, I set myself down to doing it again so that at least I would know how to do it, regardless of my lab result (for which in this case I am so going to fail..but that’s beside the point)
So after a short time of trying and pondering, I actually got it done. And looking at how I figured it out, I was screaming and yelling and asking God “WHY?? Why didn’t You let me see this a few days back, and could have done it when it really mattered! And I would have been able to help other people on the spot too! WHY WHY WHY???� I sounded like Job on a bad day, only I believe Job never sounded so defiant.
At the same time, my church was having this simulcast thingy of the 40 Days of Purpose. So having finished my work, I went out and the first thing I heard was that God doesn’t waste experiences. Immediately my thoughts went to that lab. He uses experiences?
The question in my heart was still “why?â€? but now I genuinely want to find out why He let me botch up that lab. I still haven’t found out, but I’m thinking He’ll tell me sometime soon…at least I hope so! =)
And they said…
Sammy Sullivan on Dawned jahrzy on Now Unto Him Clifford on Now Unto Him jon on Now Unto Him Finece Hames on Now Unto Him
iThink 